Blue Tolman: Chaotic Brilliance
Disarray is apparent in Blue Tolman’s technique, specifically in the way they fashion mixed media into a piece of art that evokes chaotic brilliance. Their cache of artwork points to their unconventional upbringing and a deep array of inspirations.
“I am influenced a lot by the 70’s New York style, like Pop Art, Patti Smith, and Basquiat. I get inspiration from my everyday life a lot. A lot of the time, love influences me even though it [my artwork] seems really dark” Blue disclosed.
Blue launched a foray into the art world when they worked as an artist in residence at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art. Prior to their artist in residence, they were mostly self-taught. Blue describes their art as being a tool for self-expression.
“My mom would often say to me ‘well you can’t tell the truth in your everyday life.’ ‘you can’t tell the truth about your story in every moment of what you’re doing. Sometimes you have to hide the truth in what you can create.’ I kind of grew up around it and it [art] was taught to me as this is how you are going to survive”
Much of their artwork adorns found objects, blood tones, and black captions. One of their most striking works depicts a gothic cathedral in flames with the phrase ‘Fuck it, Trust God, Let’s Go’ scribbled in the corner. Initially the piece hints at a sense of nihilism, however, it is much more nuanced.
“Love was my inspiration for that one, which sounds strange. Someone who I love a lot was worrying about the future and everything that’s attached to it and I was like ‘fuck it let’s trust God and go forth’ that was the only thing that kept coming to me.” Blue explained about the piece.
Holding a similar theme, Blue created a piece that portrays a stereotypical characterization of Jesus embellished with red lipstick and an upside-down cross. The words ‘Dear God please forgive me. I’ve see it all, I’ve seen it all’ are largely written in red.
“The White Jesus is funny. My dad and I have a joke that every time we go to the DI together we’ll buy each other a White Jesus and give it to each other. We grew up in a way where that wasn’t normal. I found one of his White Jesus’ in his practice space and took a picture of it and then painted over it. At that moment, I was going through a tempestuous thing romantically. I guess that was the inspiration for that piece strangely.” They remarked.
Religion is emphasized throughout Blue’s repertoire. They explained to Salt Lily their intentions in their artwork regarding religion and spirituality.
“I’m a preschool teacher at a church so I go every day as a queer person to a church where I’m supposed to put all of my tattoos away and put my nose piercing in, and look very cis and not talk about my partners. It kind of constantly surrounds me in my everyday life. I see the positive attributes of it to especially from 12 step work. My mom is a big supporter of that. I have ‘God is Good’ tattooed on my knees. I really do believe God is good but I do see the constant of going in every single into work and having to hide everything in the darkness and all of the secrets I have found out from working there. “
Blue who splits their time between Salt Lake and New York was raised in a series of communes in Oregon and Vermont and witnessed spirituality in a way that is divergent to the organized religions that are ingrained in Utah’s culture.
“There was no implication of expecting me to be anything other than me. I grew up very differently than a lot of kids in Salt Lake did. My experience with spiritualism was pretty pure until I came here and became a voyeur of how messed it is here.” Blue reminisced “ There’s a different standpoint of living in New York, being a queer person in New York isn’t something I need to fight for I just am. Here it’s something I have to actively [fight for] every single day. I need to be aware of the people around me and make sure that they are safe. I do love it here and the community we’ve fostered here through art and creativity.Through minority groups wanting to feel comfortable and safe together ,but something about having to fight for it all makes it extra powerful and makes it a little bit darker. I don’t know if I've seen too many kids here go through the worst because of the environment.”
Though Blue’s captions are brief they serve as a vessel for funneling private thoughts. The brilliance of their artwork stems from their vulnerability.
“I think my art wouldn't be as good if it wasn’t vulnerable. I can do regular professional art if I want to but it’s so uninspiring to me because it doesn’t feel authentic at all. The whole reason I make art is to cope with being alive. Although I do love it, I have to sit down and create something otherwise I feel like I’m going to explode.”
More of Blue Tolman’s artwork can be found their Instagram page @uglyspirall
