Hyper Space Demons: by Amber Sky Lilly

This experience happened to me when I was fifteen years old. It was the summer of 2006 when I was at my most spiritual high and had just come back from summer camp. It was the first time I'd been back since my great-grandma Esther had passed away, and needless to say, she was my best friend at the time and losing her was really hard for me. I spent the night at my grandparents' house, and I was set up to stay in my late great-grandma Esther's room. It bothered me a little bit, so I kept the lamp in the corner's light on all night. It was the one that stood behind the rocking chair I used to see her sitting in, only now it held a pile of soft linen, gently folded and just sitting there. This gave me some comfort as I felt the linen, as it reminded me of her skin. 

I didn't have a bad night actually. I ended up sleeping soundly, no dreams either. I figured it was because remembering her kept her spirit grounded there for the night, and in a way, I knew she was there with me. I awoke early that morning, and no one was awake yet. The light was just a lovely halo glow on the horizon, and I could feel the dew on the grass outside. The willow tree's branches swung ever so lightly in a soft breeze, and I felt spiritually moved, so, got up and took kneel at my bedside. I started my prayer to the creative force with gratitude. I told her how grateful I was to be alive to experience such beauty and grace. I remember pouring out my heart to her for the protection and synchronistic events that had kept me safe in times of darkness; since I had been touched by it from a very young age. Lastly, I remember praying for the understanding of Faith. It was a precept I hadn't yet fully discovered for myself. I closed my prayer and decided to lay back down and see if I could go back to sleep. 

As I laid down for what seemed like just a moment, the light in the room started to dim. I found this off putting because the light outside had not changed, and the dimming seemed to be coming from just within my room. The light strokes of shadows on the walls swelled and became opaque. They became unglued to the walls and started knocking on the furniture around them. It was vexing to my nerves, feeling such a loss of control over my own reality. I remembered what my sister Sunny would say about hyperspace demons, "when they try to pretend to be someone you know, they look like they're just trying to hold themselves together". All of my sisters and mother had experienced these types of situations before, and they all seemed to remember them started around this age.

Just then, my "grandma" came in to check on me. I remember just being able to mutter that I needed to call my mom right away, but she didn't say anything back to me. She just looked like her skin was melting, like whatever was in her was putting all their effort into keeping up their appearance. She just turned around and left, and I felt the panic setting in. Soon after, my "grandpa" came in. It felt and looked like the same thing. This time it was even harder to say anything, but again I managed to say that I needed to call my mom. At this point I realized I was unable to lift my arms and legs, and my mouth completely locked shut. My "grandpa" walked out and came back with a phone. He held it to my ear so I could hear the dial tone and a voice telling me that the phone call could not be completed as dialed. He left and I was beyond panicking now. It was the most alone I had ever felt. I kept thinking to myself, "where are they?" "where are my guides?" "where are my angels, God?". I felt myself starting to give up hope, and I felt myself starting to give into the darkness that was now so thick I thought I was choking on it. The only light I could see was now a dim glow from the lamp behind the rocking chair, the one my great-grandma Esther would sit in and tell me stories. At this moment I started to sing to myself. I remembered a song I had learned from my mom. I remember sitting on my mom's lap as she would take my little fists and sing a little Native American song with me. I hummed this to myself and suddenly I started to feel the love from within me. I felt this love start to dissolve the fear over taking me. I felt my body start to emit a light from within and empower me in an unexplainable, immovable strength. As I kept humming to myself, the shadows started to recede to their proper places and the light became normal again.

I pulled my arms off the bed and sat up straight, drenching in sweat. I was fully aware that I hadn't closed my eyes the entire time, and somehow, I knew time hadn't passed long enough to explain what just happened. It was the first time I had experienced such a dark presence, but also the first day I learned how to overcome my demons. I learned that faith comes from within and that no one comes to give it to you. I realized that morning that you have to have immovable faith in love to ignite that light within, and that this is the light that you shine into the darkness.