The Waiting Room
The white walls of the hospital waiting room began to be claustrophobic for the Son. He stared at the ticking clock on the wall for entertainment after tinkering with the toys in the room. One by one the numbers on the clock started to lose their meaning. Earlier in the day, his only worry was trying to wing the 6th-grade math test he didn’t study for, a forgotten moment to him now. The door to the windowless room opened and his aunt stepped inside smiling.
“Hey, how are you doing?”
“Has she said anything yet?” asked the Son. The aunt’s smile disappeared but her caring nature didn’t.
“Not yet, she’s just resting right now. I think later you’ll be able to see her. I’m gonna go back out there, I just wanted to check on you.” His aunt exited the room and the clock staredown resumed. The night before his waiting room visit felt like any other normal evening with his mom. They spent majority of it watching episodes of Murder, She Wrote.
“I don’t understand why you rewatch episodes of a show you’ve already seen, you already know how it ends,” said the Son.
“It’s not about the ending… It is, but it’s not. The cool part is seeing how everything plays out and her figuring out the mystery step by step…” replied his mom, trying to maintain interest in the conversation but clearly absorbed in the scandal on screen.
“The bad guy is the hotel manager, you can tell just by the way he acts.”
“You’re talking about the concierge, the manager is the one that was killed. That is a very good guess, you might be right. But we’ll just have to keep watching to see how it plays out!”
The Son didn’t know who ended up being the murderer of the episode, he had fallen asleep during the show, but he did remember seeing his mom’s joy of trying to figure out the clues as the story progressed. He tapped his shoes to the rhythm of the slow click of the clock. The Son did the same time tango earlier in the day at school, having difficulty focusing on the teacher and instead preferring to daydream about what the Son could do when he got home. Instead of worrying about the homework that was already late he was strategizing how to get further in the video game that had stumped him earlier in the week.
He lived an extremely routine lifestyle. Eating a bowl of cereal to start off the day, getting dropped off at school by his mom, daydreaming during his entire 8AM-2:30PM class period, proceeding to walk to his after school daycare, with the second round of scheduled daydreaming when he arrived until his mom or some other family member would pick him up. This routine wasn’t kept up on this specific Monday. His mom woke up late and couldn’t leave the bed, the Son thought because of her usual migraines, so he wasn’t too worried. Her boyfriend drove the Son to school a little later than the normal routine, but it didn’t cut too much into the Son’s daydreaming shift; it was interrupted earlier than normal by her boyfriend picking the Son up from school early.
“Your mom felt really sick so I took her to the hospital, some of your family is there right now,” relayed her boyfriend.
“What happened?”
“She was just sick. We don’t know yet. Gonna go to your house first to eat, and then later in the night we’ll go check in on her at the hospital.”
While her boyfriend was able to see the Son’s mom at the hospital, the Son was dropped off at the waiting room. The Son wasn’t extremely worried, he knew his mom was strong and had dealt with her migraines many times before. She even taught him how to deal with it when his head hurt. Because he already knew the outcome of what was going to happen, he just had to focus on passing the time until it happened. Family members checked in on him, all of them putting on a brave face as they entered the waiting room. Hours passed and the boy ran out of things to think about, an extremely rare occasion. He was used to spending most of his time alone, only talking to other kids at school, so he was pretty adept at keeping himself entertained.
The door was opened by her boyfriend to take the Son out of the waiting room. He followed his guide through the winding white hallways full of passing people with worry etched across their faces. The Son hadn’t spent much time in hospitals so this was a completely foreign environment for him. He tightened his fists as his surroundings appeared more menacing, even if they shared the familiar paint of the waiting room.
They arrived to his mom’s room which he found to be full of family members blocking his view of what was in the room. He walked past them to see his mom laying on a bed. She was dressed in medical clothes, tubes running into her nose, breathing silently with her eyes closed. When the Son was older he was always told that she would often be the center of attention in the room and complemented to “be a ray of sunshine during a party.” She was still the center of attention in this situation but with a very different tone.
“Hey mom,” said the Son. There was no reply except for her breathing. “She’s still resting,” said her boyfriend. The Son looked around the room. The brave faces from earlier were replaced with somber looks and red eyes.
“Goodnight, I hope some more rest helps. I’ll see you tomorrow.” As the Son started to walk away his mom’s eyes opened for a moment. She couldn’t say anything, but that gaze contained a hug and an “I love you.” She shut her eyes again but that little moment of seeing her Son was all she needed. Her boyfriend led the Son out of the room.
The pair left the hospital in silence. The Son slept over at his neighbors because her boyfriend was going to return to the hospital but didn’t want to leave him alone. He slept restlessly in the unfamiliar bed but eventually fell asleep.
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There was an unsettling calm feeling the next day. The Son spent the majority of it playing video games, to pass the time and also for the chance to distract himself from thinking about his mom. Minutes etched to achingly slow hours as the Son spent his time alone. Eventually to break up his usual distraction methods he got on the computer to check his Facebook account.
“I’m sorry your mom passed away, please let me know if you need anything,” messaged a classmate. The Son instantly caught the classmate’s miscommunication, not even for a second wondering how he knew about what was happening with his mom. “It’s okay, she’s actually just in the hospital but she’ll be okay. Thank you.” The Son already decided that the outcome of his mom’s hospital trip was her getting better, he just had to wait for the mystery to unravel itself.
Hours ticked on and the everlasting sun moved past the mountains letting shadows creep into the valley. This evening the Son had Jiu-Jitsu practice, a martial art he wasn’t much good at, but he cherished the opportunity to talk to the other kids. He carried on with the practice like any other Tuesday night, struggling to stay focused but still trying his best. The hour of being with the other kids zoomed by and now it was time to leave, but her boyfriend had to have a word with the instructor so the Son was asked to wait in the car.
The moon was nowhere in sight, with only the slight illumination of the streetlights to protect the car from the darkness. For the past two days he had practiced his waiting skills, but this round felt different. He couldn’t fathom why the two adults would need to talk for so long on their own, maybe they were just joking about something and the joke has run on too long. Tears welled up in his eyes but didn’t flow because the boy knew that the end of this story would end with him being reunited with his mom. He had already decided that. Her boyfriend got into the driver’s seat of the car.
“We’re going to your grandma’s really quick to see some of your family.”
“Okay.”
Deafening silence enveloped the car. The ride went quickly for the Son but felt like centuries for her boyfriend. As they entered the house the front room was filled with people, mostly familiar faces to the Son but also some strangers. The group somberly said greetings and then returned to hushed whispering as the boy was led into the kitchen to eat some food alone.
After finishing the food, the Son walked into the front room and was led to a chair. No one spoke until the family started a prayer. He couldn’t ignore the signs anymore, and his tears flooded.
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Days passed and the Son was comatose. His dad was informed of what happened when he got back from a trip, one of the last people to find out, similar to the Son. While family members such as his dad worked on figuring out the boy’s life he continued to distract himself in whatever ways he could. His mom had passed a couple hours after the Son had left the hospital, not even getting to see her last sunrise. The doctors couldn’t conclude why his mom had passed away, it possibly could have a virus or illness of some sort, but the reasoning didn’t matter too much. It’s a mystery that couldn’t be solved.
A week later the funeral services were conducted on a partially cloudy day. The Son was set to give a eulogy which he hadn’t written anything for, knowing that he’d be able to wing it in the moment. People dressed in various funeral attire, but he was dressed in an oversized blue sweater from his dad. Possibly the sweater wasn’t up to etiquette standards but it was comforting to him. The processions went on and the boy still couldn’t believe what was happening. Everything was changing so fast.
“Now the Son will speak,” said an old man in a fine suit. The Son stared at the ground while walking up to the podium. When he looked up he saw a crowd of people who had been affected in some way by his mom. The flood in his heart started to manifest physically.
“My mom was an amazing person…” said the crying boy into the microphone. The words in his brain froze and he continued to weep. Eventually, he was led off the stage, making a huge statement with a minimal amount of words. The Son promised he would never forgive himself for messing up the eulogy, but like the last time he jumped to conclusions, as he got older he was proven wrong.
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Grass blew idling in the wind on a sunny Spring day at the cemetery. A 20-year old man carrying purple flowers walked along the rolling hills trying to avoid stepping on any gravestones hidden in the grass. He set the flowers next to a maroon gravestone and then sat down.
“Sorry I took so long to come out here, I know it’s been a couple of years but I figured you’d understand. Just been really busy lately with school and work and all that.” The Son started to fiddle with the blades of grass.
“I have no clue what I’m doing with my life but I figured you’d like an update,” he said while laughing. “I just wanted to let you know I’m doing good, even with the ups and downs. I’ve met so many people and I can’t wait to meet more. You’d be surprised by how many people I can call friends… I’m even surprised a lot of the time but I do love them, and I think they love me. I wish you could meet them.
“I also came here to tell you I’m not too sad anymore. I mean, I miss you a lot… but I’ve grown up a bit and learned that even when things are really dark there can still be light. I learned that even when I’m sad that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy also. Still working on it, there’s dark days, but I’m better at it. My friends taught me that, and I’m glad to occasionally remind them that the dark does lighten up a bit eventually.” He looked up from the grass and the pair gazed out at the valley.
“Parts of the family have told me you’re still with us, which would be cool, but I don’t know if it’s true… that’s okay though. Hopefully, they’re right and I’m wrong, but I guess time will tell. If you were around I would trade anything for some life advice, but hopefully, you’d think I’m doing okay. Trying to do my best, at least. I wonder what you’d think about how much my life has changed. It’s still changing, but I guess the ending doesn’t matter as much as the story.” The mother and son talked a bit more and then sat in silence. Eventually, he started walking down the hill as the gravestone watched him go.
